I’ve often pondered this: When, exactly, does normal shopping turn into Insane Angry Every Woman for Herself Christmas Shopping?
Well it would seem that this weekend, the world has crossed that threshold.
Yesterday Rosie and I took to the shops on a rare big-boys-at-daycare-no-work-for-mummy day. We breezed in and nabbed a parking spot in a parents with prams park. We had a coffee together in Target’s in-store cafe.
Even though she wasn’t well, babygirl was happy to shop. She enjoyed taking in all of the gorgeous Christmas lights and partook in a little dress-swirling and yelling “hello” at people from her pram. Spirits were high.
A lovely kind lady in the queue in Daiso noticed my impatient, wriggly toddler and allowed us to go ahead of her and (what seemed like) her twenty beautiful teenaged daughters (probably three, four tops). The Christmas Spirit was alive in Garden City!
We spent twenty minutes in Myer’s Giftorium and loaded up presents for six loved ones. Bam. Nailed it.
It was incredible. I couldn’t believe how easy this was! What were people talking about? There was no bustling, elbow-jabbing, or queues from hell.
No. That was today. Armed with my unrealistic expectations, my sick baby and my mum, and having forgotten a single item, I dared to venture back into the shops.
First, getting a parking spot was a total nightmare. People turn into nutters at Christmas time!! We saw one lady in a car totally stalk a family for their park like a lioness after a helpless goat. She crawled behind them at about 2kph from the store exit to their parking space, furiously flicked on her indicator and grabbed the spot. Car parking had become a competitive sport, overnight, and I needed to lift my game!
We finally got inside and something very unfortunate was happening. Actually two things. Sophia Grace and Rosie (of Ellen fame) and their snobby, entitled and unconvincing British accents were making an appearance. And Target was offering 20% off. Oh my Lord. You could not move! It would appear that people go mad for child-psuedo-celebrities and marginal-store-discounts!
But we’d made it this far and I was determined not to let all of our efforts to this point slip away in vain. So bolstered with coffee we got through it.
And that, I’m pleased to say, will be the very last time I visit any kind of large shopping centre/mall until the New Year.
But I do love a good Boxing Day sale…